Giuseppe Marco Fieschi came home to see his friends had thrown him a "congratulations on getting out of prison" surprise party. They all had cake and a grand time, but Giuseppe couldn't get this one thing off his mind.
How could King Louis imprison me like that? After we went to high school together! I broke him out of detention with only a paper clip and a MacGyver rerun! And he just locks me away! Stealing the councilman's checkbook and forging checks into my own account isn't something worth ruining a friendship over!! Banking fraud is not that big a deal!! Ill show him...
A group of Giuseppe's friends walk over and offer him the chance of a lifetime. They plan on assassinating the King, and they want him to do it.
Of course I'll do it! He needs to pay.
Now Giuseppe, this needs to be clean and you need a discreet way of killing him, you need a creative and clever plan to be able to pull this off...
Oh don't worry about that, I'll be super discrete and creative, no one will ever see it coming.
* * *
Giuseppe awaits the king to pass by with his family on his yearly review of the Guard. He looks down at his weapon of choice for assassinating the king. An enormous custom built 25-barrel shotgun.
Nailed it. He thought. Total sneaky and stealthy, like a shadow in the night...
The king passed by, this is Giuseppe's chance. He pulls the trigger and unleashes a hellfire of bullets upon the king and surrounding peoples. The massive kick of the 25 shotguns duct tape and krazy-glued together sent Giuseppe flying into the wall, dazed. The enormously impractical and supervillainous contraption killed 18 people, injured 22 more. None of them the royal family. The king was grazed in the forehead by a bullet but not injured. Giuseppe woke up from his daze to see a crowd of people surrounding him looking pretty disgruntled with him. So they put him in a guillotine and hes dead now.
That's what you get Giuseppe.
Moral to the story: If you are going to assassinate someone, don't do it with a ridiculous 25 barreled shotgun.
This was perhaps the best unrealistic realistic fiction I've ever read. I can see this dude acting like batman, thinking "I am the Night!" before he entirely screw up.
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