A dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight
To somber sullen tones in the graveyard of temptation
Where forbidden fruit grow with barbed wire vines
Salsa with Satan in Luna's faint glow
Will be the last dance of your eternal soul
Berry P - make your comments professional; you need to proofread before publishing for one, and if you're going to give constructive criticism, like "It's too short," give suggestions on what the person could do better.
Short and not so sweet. I really liked the rhyme in the last two lines, and also how you called the moon Luna. This is really good.
ReplyDeleteDirect and to the point. I like the image of dancing with satan when you die. Nice job Jack!
ReplyDeleteIt's too short, I got nothing I want to mock it that I don't want to save for later D:
ReplyDeleteBerry P - make your comments professional; you need to proofread before publishing for one, and if you're going to give constructive criticism, like "It's too short," give suggestions on what the person could do better.
ReplyDelete