Every day it's the same thing. Wake up, swim to shore. My day is usually pretty standard. I get to the mainland and hang out with my chaps. Sometimes we will get into a little scuffle, knock down a couple buildings in the process, perhaps level half of Tokyo, but its all a part of life.
Godzilla doesn't have it as easy as you think.
So today me and the lads were hanging out by the beach, as we Kaiju monsters tend to enjoy doing, when all of a sudden I saw something down by King Ghidra's foot. It was a human. A HUMAN. Humans are nightmare fuel. Ughhh so creepy and gross. Sometimes they get so big you have to hit them with a newspaper plant or a shoe store. No way am I going to step on one that size. Ghidra noticed the human and freaked out, launching a laser beam into the side of a tower. We all hid behind the lighthouse and wondered what to do about it. I went and found a cup and put it on top of the human. I would deal with that thing later. That's when the jets started circling. Gigan swatted a few out of the air whilst repeating "Eww" over and over again. A helicopter flew past my head and I didn't see where it went, and then a wave of crippling fear and dread came over me.
SCREEEEEEEONK
In my horrified scream I breathed a beam of atomic energy onto the beach, turning it to glass and the humans to crisps. I turned my back to Ghirda.
IS IT ON ME??
Ghidra looked me over and assured me that it was not in fact on me. Great, now I'm gonna be paranoid all day about having humans crawling all over me. Fantastic. So now as you can see, it's really hard being a giant Kaiju in a human infested world.
Being Godzilla sucks.
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